Friday, April 29, 2016

I am not ready

I am nowhere near ready.

My list is long and overwhelming.

I have a handful of weeks left to wrap up our home school year.

I have to stay focused on finishing well.

I have medical appointments for a couple of our children that I must attend to.

Those appointments could lead to future treatments (read surgery) but I must be still and trust God with them.

There is also that pesky little house situation.

You know that house that has been on the market for 1 year now?

It is supposed to close in a few days.

Lord willing, we will finally close that chapter.

I am holding my breath until it is done.

The money wrapped up in the house will finally be free to cover a very important trip to China.

I haven't prepared Miss Ruthie's room to become Mei Mei's room too.

I need to nest.

I am not ready.

I want that space to be just right for her.

I have only purchased a handful of clothes for Mei Mei.

I need to find just the right outfits for my baby girl to complete her wardrobe.

I need to nest.

I am not ready.

I want my precious girl to know that I lovingly chose her clothing.

I have menus to plan. 

I have a pantry to stock.

I have a mountain of freezer meals to make.

I need to nest.

I am not ready.

I want to focus my energy on my new daughter not cooking.

I have books to read and re-read in preparation for her adoption.

I need to make a plan for cocooning in order to facilitate bonding.

I want to dig into scripture and try to understand the word the Lord gave us for Mei Mei's adoption..."Restore."

I need to nest.

I am not ready.

I need to receive Travel Approval so we can buy tickets to China.

I need to make plans with grandparents for the care of our six children.

I need to pack six children's suitcases.

I need to pack the suitcases that are going to China.

I need to prepare.

I am not ready.

I am nowhere near ready.

The panic begins to set in.

I feel my heart beating faster.

My mind wanders to the picture on her finding ad.

Suddenly, it comes over me.

She wasn't ready.

She wasn't ready to be born with a broken heart.

She wasn't ready to lose her birth family.

She wasn't ready for the terror of abandonment at the age of 2.

She wasn't ready to be taken into custody and examined.

She wasn't ready to live in an orphanage.

She wasn't ready to be admitted to the hospital.

She wasn't ready to endure surgery on her eye.

She wasn't ready to endure the repair of her umbilical hernia.

She wasn't ready to endure open heart surgery.

She wasn't ready to be placed on a ventilator after that surgery due to respiratory failure.

She wasn't ready to spend 83 days in a hospital bed without her Mommy and Daddy at her side.

She wasn't ready to wait days, then months and then years for her forever family.

She wasn't ready.

My daughter had no time to prepare for all of the trauma she has experienced in her young life.

The truth is...

I will be ready.

I will get all the tasks accomplished.

The timing will be perfect.

My God is orchestrating every last detail.

We pray every night for the Lord to prepare Mei Mei's heart for us and to prepare our hearts for her.

He has this whole thing under control.

Let's do this.

Monday, April 25, 2016

W is 9!


You are amazing. 

You have joy deep in your soul. 

You love to laugh and make other people laugh.

You are tender and kind.

You are a mover and a shaker.

You and B are always dreaming up your next big plan.

You take pride in teaching your little siblings all kinds of things.

You are quick to serve others.

You are a good friend.

You add your own style to everything you do.

You are the life of the party.

You make 9 look good!

You are so loved by me.

Happy Birthday to you!!!

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Miss Ruthie Turns 4!

My precious girl,

I adore you. 

You are our princess. 

A true princess.

From a long line of daughters of the King.

You are kind and caring.

You are sassy and determined.

You click your tongue when you are happy.

You love to help me cook.

You find joy in taking care of your brothers.

You are the best shopping partner around.

You take great pride in fixing my hair just right.

You like it when we both dress fancy.

You have your daddy wrapped around your little finger.

Your Daddy has your heart.

You bring sweetness and joy to our family.

I delight in you.

Happy Birthday Sister Girl!

I love you so.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Australia Day 7

We were on the bus at 4:15am for a 1 hour ride from Port Douglas to Cairns.

We flew 3 hours or so from Cairns to Sydney.

While we were in the Sydney airport EJ decided to pull the trigger and purchase the kangaroo pelt he had been eyeing all week. I couldn't say no. I was the kill joy who convinced him not to buy the didgeridoo he wanted so badly. I felt kind of bad about it. I just couldn't figure out where we would keep a didgeridoo. He sold me on the kangaroo pelt by promising that it would find a home at his office.

Also, he was super supportive of me buying authentic Australian Uggs the day we went to Kuranda. So fancy. Well, it would be fancy if Uggs were fancy. I know they are ugly but man boy howdy they are snuggly.

Next flight was the big one...Sydney to Dallas.

Finally Dallas to Wichita.

(Our boys are travel warriors!)

Car ride from the airport to home. (Thank you to EJ's dad aka Papa for the ride home)

We made it home by 6:30pm but we made plans to pick up the little four the next day. I knew that we would need a good night of sleep. It was so hard not to run to the farm and hug them. Grammy and Pop had been keeping them all week but they had to be out of town for a wedding. Aunt Rock Star took over when they left. She had 8 children ages 2 to 10. She is the best!

We went to bed in an attempt to rest up before picking up the youngest four. Poor B and W were completely off due to the time changes. They kept waking up and had a terrible time going back to sleep.

We woke up around 10:30am and headed to get the kids as soon as we were ready. We couldn't wait to wrap our arms around those sweeties!

It feels so good to be all together again! Adventures are fantastic but the best place to be is HOME. 

Friday, March 11, 2016

Australia Day 6

Today was our last full day in Port Douglas, Australia. The boys referred to this day as "Fishy Friday." They went on a fishing adventure with their Daddy and two friends we met on our trip. These new friends know EJ's Cousin's kiddos in Indiana. It is such a small world!

Turns out they caught more sharks than fish! W caught a 3 foot hammerhead shark but they didn't get it pulled in. It got caught up in the lines and broke one of their poles.

While they were busy fishing, I headed to the spa. This busy Momma spent a good 1 1/2 being pampered. Ooo La La. It was a fantastic way to spend our last day.

I was just a little excited.

The sweet gal who checked me in, walked me to the changing room. She told me to put on my robe and sandals provided. Then she said, "You can take your knickers off or leave them on. It is up to you."

First of all, I think we should use the term "knickers" for undies. It just sounds right.

Second of all, I know this is too much information but I chose to take the knickers off.

Finally, I read on the locker wall that if you take your knickers off you are to wear the lovely paper knickers they provided.

EJ won't let me post the picture so I will describe them for know the undies they give you after you have a baby? Those are granny panty disposable undies. These paper knickers are more of the thong variety. Definitely more than I bargained for.

In the words of my sister, "So always keep your knickers on in Australia or else they make you wear thong knickers."

Words to live by.

Moving on. 

The massage and scalp treatment were amazing. I enjoyed every minute of the pampering. 

We spent the afternoon swimming in the beautiful pool.

Soon it was time to get cleaned up and head to the farewell dinner.