Life is so busy with all these little ones. My mind is often in 5 different places at one time. I want to hear God in my day. I want to listen to the Holy Spirit guide me. I want to live in the spirit and not in the flesh.
I want to...but I so often miss out.
I was checking out at Target the other day. I only had my oldest two children with me. My hubby was waiting in the car with the two littles.
As the young lady rang up my items, I suddenly saw her.
I saw her.
I saw her sweet face as she talked with me.
I saw her arms.
I saw the scars from cutting.
They looked like they were old wounds.
Then something welled up inside of me.
I felt the Lord compelling me to speak to her.
He wanted me to speak to her worth.
I felt sick to my stomach.
I tried to reason my way out.
She will think I am weird.
I don't want to embarrass her.
What do I say?
We were almost done.
The lady behind me was ready to check out.
I chickened out.
I walked away.
Then I stopped.
I looked back.
I tried to bargain with the Lord.
If no one else comes in her line then I will go.
A man got in line.
Okay, I am out.
I looked back up.
He was gone.
No excuses left.
I walked back to her.
I still had no idea what to say.
I put my hand on her shoulder and called her by name.
"I feel like the Lord wants me to tell you something before I leave." I told her.
"Okay," she said with a strange look on her face.
Then these words came out...
"You are precious in His sight. He wants you to know that."
Then I walked away.
When I got in the car I told EJ what had just happened. He prayed for her and I cried.
I have no idea what she thought. I suppose that is none of my business. I just need to be obedient.
Lord, I pray you touch her. Touch her arms and heal her. Touch her heart and heal her. Make her your own. In Jesus Name, Amen
While I was pregnant, I think EJ was in denial. I would show him little pink outfits and he would sort of glance at them and say, "that's nice." It was as though he was unaware of what was about to happen. I don't know how he could have missed it considering the explosion of pink that occurred in the nursery.
When Lil' Ruthie was born something was different. Obviously, she was a girl but I am talking about EJ. Something was just different. That first night in the hospital, I was exhausted from surgery. I nursed her and then handed her over to him. I expected him to snuggle her for a bit and then hand her back. Instead, he told me to rest. I dozed in and out. Each time I glanced over, there they were. Daddy and daughter all snuggled up together. One time when I looked over he was just staring at her with tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"I just love her so much!" was his answer.
I feel that my words are inadequate to describe my love for her. The work of mothering is so intense. Particularly in those first few weeks and months. In this photo, I see a tired but happy Momma holding her perfect gift from God. We spent countless hours snuggled up this way. In the middle of the night, I would pull her close to feed her and all she wanted to do was stay by me. My anxiousness over her safety would sometimes keep me up while I watched her sleep. "Lord, keep her safe." I would pray. She wanted to feel warmth and comfort that only her Momma could provide. I am so thankful for those moments. When the nights got long, I would remind myself that this time will pass. I am glad I treasured those moments.
Don't even get me started on her big bubbas. They adore her. She seems to hold court when they are near. She is well loved by these little men. In this photo she is wearing a onsie that says, "This princess is guarded by 3 big brothers." Oh. So. True.
Pop would say, "She is no bigger than a minute."
She was such a tiny baby!
By three months old, she knew some stuff!
She was a vacation diva!
Next thing we knew she was rolling over.
Then crawling. Pop's response to this was, "look out, she is mobile, agile and hostile!" She never looked back. She was so glad to be able to chase after her bubbas.
Her precious smile and those bright blue eyes light up our world!
She was so proud the first time she
pulled up to a standing position.
And now she is taking those first wobbly steps as her
biggest fans cheer her on.
One year goes by quickly!
Grammy always says,
"that first year is just the right length of time."
As we celebrate our baby girl's 1 year birthday we also celebrate making it through those sleepless nights and long days of nursing a tiny baby (well, I celebrate that part).
Tonight, Bubba said, "I can't believe our baby sister is going to be 1 year old tomorrow!"
(Also, he and the other brothers requested pizza on her real birthday since she doesn't get her party until this weekend. They feel it is the right thing to do. For her, of course!)