Sweet Relief

I am 13 weeks and a few days now.  The pregnancy seems to be progressing nicely.  I am feeling better.  Not as much nausea.  Praise the Lord!  I am still tired but not as tired as I was in the first trimester.

This morning we had a much anticipated baby appointment.  I was anxious to hear that little heart beat and know that all is well.  I have been fighting my fears for the last couple of weeks.  The "What Ifs?" have been screaming loudly in my head.

I did not mentioned my concerns in front of the children.  I did tell them that we had an appointment coming up.  Bubba said, "Mom, what if this baby's heart stops beating?" 

I thought to myself...Can you read my mind little man?

I told him that we just needed to pray and ask God to keep growing the baby big and strong.  I reminded him that we can trust God with our baby.  God will take care of us no matter what.

I told him all the things I have been telling myself.

EJ and I headed off to our Dr.'s appointment this morning.  We got right in.  The nurse was a new one (at least new to me).  She checked my blood pressure and then prepared to listen for the heart beat on the doppler.  No heart beat.  She moved that thing all around my tummy.  Still no heart beat.  She said that the Doctor would be in shortly and he could usually find it right away.  I saw her type this note into my chart, "No Fetal Heart Tones detected on doppler."

The minutes seemed to go on forever.  I could hardly keep myself calm.  The tears started to well up.  EJ prayed over me and the baby.

When Dr. K came in he said, "How is it going?"

I said, "I'm trying not to freak out!"

He looked on the counter and saw that the doppler was still out.  "Oh, I see.  Let me listen.  If we don't get the heartbeat right away we will do a sonogram."

He placed the doppler on my tummy and immediately found our little baby's heart beat.

And I lost my good mind.

I am serious.

I started to cry.  Not the kind of crying where a tear rolls down your cheek as you silently thank God.  I mean the kind of crying where your whole body gets involved.  I was sobbing so hard my tummy was moving and he could hardly finish listening to that little heartbeat.

Sweet relief my friends.

SWEET RELIEF!