Don't call me sugar!

Wubba and I were in his weekly session with Mrs. Daisy.


We were busy following Mrs. Daisy's directions when I realized that Wubba wasn't paying attention.


I said, "It's your turn, Sugar."


To which, Wubba looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Don't call me Sugar."


I exchanged glances with Mrs. Daisy.


On the way I home, I said, "Wubba, I'm sorry I called you "Sugar" during your class time.  Did I embarrass you?"


Wubba: "Yes"


Me: "I won't do that again.  Can I still call you "Sugar" at home?"


Wubba: "Sure!"

Happy Birthday Papa!

My Grandparents (Grammy's folks) are Nana and Papa to my boys.  I have so many special memories of going to their house as a kid.  They live in the same place they always have.  When I am there I have flashbacks of all the sweet times I have spent within the walls of that house.


Bringing my boys there for a weekend visit is always fun.  Watching them get to know their Nana and Papa blesses my heart beyond belief. 


We took a few pictures before we left.  Wubba was already sad to leave.  He kept saying that he wanted to come back tomorrow!  (on the way home the big boys decided that they were coming back soon and this time they were staying for 14 days...I would say they had a good time!)

The cowboys with Nana and Papa

Me (and the tiny baby) with Nana and Papa

I told EJ I was sorry I didn't get a picture of him.  He was our photographer.  Thanks Honey! 

Today is Papa's birthday.  In his birthday card I told him that he has cultivated a legacy of love in his family.  I am so blessed to have this man as my Grandpa.  I love you!

P.S. Grandma, thank you for feeding us such tasty food!  My men and I enjoyed those delicious home cooked meals.

My Sweet Boy

Last night as I was putting my tennis shoes on...

Wubbba (4) said, "Where are you going Mommy?"

Me: "I am going to the gym to exercise."

Wubba: "Oh No Mom!  Don't hurt the little baby!"

Me: "Don't worry Sweetie.  I promise I will just walk slow.  I am always careful with the baby."

Precious. 

Just precious.

Feel the LOVE

I haven't cooked for a long time.  I just can't stomach the idea of preparing food.  My poor family is eating easy to prepare, pre-packaged foods.  We are also eating out all the time.  There are only so many places in our little town to eat out.  After a while, everything just sounds gross.


For some reason my nausea is worse in the late afternoon and evening.  That makes the "What are we going to eat for dinner?" question even more unbearable to me.


This afternoon, I was trying to figure out what to feed my family. 


The truth is I just kind of wanted to lay on the couch and cry about it.


I am sick and tired.  I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  You know what I mean?


Then I heard my phone.


It was a text from a precious friend.


"Do you have dinner plans?" (the answer of course was no)


"Can I bring dinner to you tonight?" (the answer of course was YES!)


The most delicious meal arrived at our house just in time for dinner.


My family celebrated!  Real food!


I am so grateful. 

Not only did my friend make me feel so loved by this act of kindness but it also made me feel loved by our Heavenly Father. 

He sees me.

Genesis 16:13
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

J. thank you so much for blessing us tonight!

The Battle

It was at a routine appointment on March 18th, 2011 that EJ and I found out our sweet baby twins were gone.  Their little hearts were no longer beating.


I had no signs of miscarriage.  No cramping.  No bleeding.  Nothing.


Looking back the only sign I did have was a loss of pregnancy symptoms.  It was slight but I noticed that all the sudden I had more energy.  At that time I made the assumption that I was exiting the 1st trimester and headed into the more comfortable 2nd trimester.


When I found out I was pregnant with this new little blessing a flood of emotions came over me.


I told EJ, "I don't want to lose another baby!"


I spent a lot of time bargaining with God.


I went into overprotective mode.


In my mind, I was going to somehow control the outcome of this pregnancy.  Surely if I was just good enough God would give me this baby in the end.


At just 6 weeks along, we got in the big wreck.  I just remember thinking, "Are you kidding me?!?!?!" 


When we saw our OB he looked for signs of bleeding in the uterus.  Nope.  All seemed well with the baby.  As a bonus we got to see that little heart beating away.


Next, our family got a nasty stomach virus.  Again, lots of feelings came flooding back.  When I was pregnant with the twins I got terribly sick with some kind of a viral infection.  So again, more reason to worry.


At the next OB appointment, we not only saw that strong heart beating but we also saw our baby moving around.  It is amazing how developed they are so early!


So here I am, at the exact same stage in pregnancy where I lost the twins.


I have been so sick with this baby. 


Nauseous most of the time. 


Lots of food aversions. 


Completely exhausted.


When I have a good day I start to feel consumed with worry.


Are my pregnancy symptoms disappearing? 


Is the baby okay? 


What if? 


What if? 


What if?


Then I have to tell myself the truth.

Psalm 139:16

" ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be."

God created this tiny blessing.


God has already ordained the number of days in this baby's life.


God loves our baby even more than I do.


God loves me.


I can rest in Him.  He is here.  He has us in His strong grip. 


I will fight the battle for my mind everyday of this pregnancy and I will win when I proclaim His word.


I praise you Father for giving me tools to fight with!  I praise you for giving me this child!

Random Pregnancy Thoughts

So...


I was pregnant when the wreck happened.  Scary!


I was pregnant when the stomach bug hit.  Nasty!


Oh my stars.


As though pregnancy isn't hard enough.


When I find out I'm pregnant I switch to decaf coffee for a day or two.  Then I just cut it out completely.  It doesn't sound good anymore.  The idea of it sounds wonderful but the taste doesn't.  That must be God's way of helping me kick my favorite habit.


Most of you know that our road to parenthood hasn't been easy.


Most recently, in March, we lost the twins I was carrying.


Being pregnant again has been a very emotional experience.  I'm sure I will write more about that later.


We breathed a huge sigh of relief yesterday when we watched our little baby move around and got to hear that strong heartbeat. 


Grow baby Grow!

A little tiny announcement